Wow, it has been one year since I posted a Blog! I took a step back because God had so much work to do in me. He still does but I realized I will be an ongoing project, being shaped and molded the rest of my life and I'll never feel quite ready to start sharing! So, I may not be ready but trust God will give me the courage and words. The past year was one that challenged me in ways I never imagined possible as we digested information about my health and the health of our children, became buried in medical bills and tried to find stable footing. It has been painful yet beautiful and now I can't help but share.
I can speak to a million challenges our family is facing but I can also speak to how tremendously blessed we are. Sounds crazy, right? How can we be so afflicted, yet blessed beyond measure at the same time?
There is one answer! Just one - and it is God's grace. I can face each challenge head on knowing God goes before us and has plans to give us hope and a future! He has met me and my family with His grace at every turn. We have seen how our Heavenly Father can change our hearts, give us a purpose and use us in all of our brokenness, provide in miraculous ways and He has always given us what we need not just to endure in our circumstances, but to thrive.
As I was seeking to know the Lord more and more this last year, God put things heavily on my heart. Through the Word, I was reminded that not every person is healed physically while here on earth; sometimes that healing comes in other ways - spiritually and emotionally, instead. With that knowledge, I wanted to learn more about how the afflicted should live while dealing with such pain, frustration and fear. I wanted to know - Can we suffer well?
God showed me over the last year that, yes, we can suffer well! He lead me to study the characters of the Bible which made me question why so many of us who suffer today only pray for physical healing, instead of allowing God to work in us and through us, as we walk firmly in His will. I prayed for physical healing everyday for several years and my answer was always "no" or maybe a "not yet". Whatever it was, it wasn't a "yes" with miraculous physical healing. BUT, it was an "I have plans for you. Trust me." answer. I cried an ocean begging God to heal me so I could serve Him and others. The funny thing is, I am only just now beginning to understand He healed me in a way far more powerful than physical healing and was preparing me to walk in His will all along, to serve Him and others. He woke up my sleeping soul and showed me that a life of purpose does not require a healthy body. He gave me strong faith, courage, showed me fully surrendering to Him would be safe, ignited a desire to serve, made His grace visible, urged me to speak with Him in prayer and so much more.
There is example after example in the Bible that we can follow.
Why shouldn't we have an inquisitive mind about God's role in our suffering, yet remain faithful, like Job?
Why shouldn't we, despite our many challenges, have a resilient faith in God like Abraham?
Why shouldn't we have the courage to endure like Moses?
Why shouldn't we fully surrender and be a good and faithful servant like Mary?
Why shouldn't we find grace in the eyes of the Lord and be righteous like Noah?
Why shouldn't we have a prayer life like Daniel?
Why shouldn't we willingly let God use us like Elijah?
Why shouldn't we reach out to people like Paul?
Why shouldn't we follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit like Phillip?
The greatest example of all? Jesus! He encompassed all of these characteristics. Through our suffering, we are blessed to be in fellowship with Jesus and His suffering. That was a powerful realization for me and strengthened my relationship with God in an unbelievable way. It lead to me almost embracing suffering until I realized that I didn't need to embrace it to suffer well and live a life in Christ. Even Jesus asked - "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42)
So here I am today, still dealing with very serious health issues, but always strengthened and upheld by our gracious Heavenly Father. I continue to have a strong desire for physical healing for my children and I, and I do pray for that, yet as Jesus said, "not my will, but yours be done." Living in His will, I will continue to share the message that we can navigate chronic illness and a life in Christ, suffering well because of God's grace and sharing our living hope with others.
